I wrote my first post and instantly felt freedom in sharing. Then I felt very unsure, should I have shared?
Ha the self doubt and uncertainty strikes again. I want to clarify that I am not depressed, and I am not being hard on myself (well maybe the second). At least I am pretty sure my feeling are not coming from those places. When I share with other woman/moms I am told “I am so thankful for your honesty,” so is it safe to assume most woman struggle at times with self doubt and only some are willing to admit it?
As I start to write more on our blog, share our daily on our YouTube channel, and post pictures to Instagram, I felt the need to post where I am at. The only way I see the possibility of this working is going to be us, I cannot keep up with perfection. If at the end of raising our children I look back and have a perfect blog filled with perfect memories – how will I remember and be thankful for the journey? If I post flowery words maybe others will read and find my life appealing, but will I find myself in that?
My hope is to be sure of myself and to trust that the choices we make, no matter what someone else says. To try new things without constantly fearing what others will think. To find confidence in my roles as a wife/mom, and as a child of God. A verse came to mind as I was writing, one that I want to claim as truth in my life, and become the main goal of 2016.
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
God has huge plans for the Duffield family. I don’t want to be so scared hiding behind my lack of self worth that I can’t step up when He needs me to strong. I am going to memorize this verse, and seal it in my heart and mind. When I slip into the easy habit of hiding I will repeat it and send the attack back to the enemy as failed.
First step memorize my theme verse.