It is pouring rain today, which is bringing my motivation down a few notches today. Although despite the rain, I have been knocking a few chores of my to-do list this past week. Specifically the ones I have been avoiding for months – like the alone plant the cats knocked over on Christmas eve. I tend to ignore certain things hoping someone else will do it, knowing full well I am the only one who is actually going to pick the plant up and repot it. The aloe plant is now hanging in the dinning room (minus a few leaves), I hope he survives but after two months of neglect he seemed fairly okay. Sometimes I find with plants though you can ignore them forever and they do well, pay attention to them and they up and die.
Many women believe it is required of us to be in constant service and available to those we love. Which is probably why I have my phone now – what if the girls, my grandparents, or (whoever) needs me? Possibly like me, you have been conditioned to believe that in order to show love we must self-sacrifice, and display complete dedication to the wants and needs of the people around us (our husband, children, extended family, friends, church, etc). Often we set aside our inner desires, passions, and dreams, and instead pick up the vacuum with an empty sense of duty.
The sun has been a sweet gift these past two days, I was sinking into the winter blahs a few days ago – ready to roll over in defeat, why bother trying to find happiness? The gloomy, never ending days with winter storms were getting me down. I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling I was over whelmed and out of my element with six kids at home for another snow day.
Everyone in my house seems to take notice when I fail to succeed in my duties as mom. Not often do I get a “thank you for drying my mittens last night,” or “thanks mom, for cleaning the toilet.” Forget to make dinner and everyone is out to get me. As moms we spend our days doing what feels like a thankless job with everyone else in the house working against us. Sunday morning I endured a crying melt down from Joshua, lasting for over 45 minutes prior to arriving at church. All that fuss over the fact that he had to wear “girl” underwear! Really dude? It was clean! Rest assured it is not that we lack “boy” appropriate underwear, it was simply the outcome of a very busy week – my priority was clean clothes. Period. Not equal amounts of gender specific underwear.