It is pouring rain today, which is bringing my motivation down a few notches today. Although despite the rain, I have been knocking a few chores of my to-do list this past week. Specifically the ones I have been avoiding for months – like the alone plant the cats knocked over on Christmas eve. I tend to ignore certain things hoping someone else will do it, knowing full well I am the only one who is actually going to pick the plant up and repot it. The aloe plant is now hanging in the dinning room (minus a few leaves), I hope he survives but after two months of neglect he seemed fairly okay. Sometimes I find with plants though you can ignore them forever and they do well, pay attention to them and they up and die.
My experience so far with attempting to live out God’s will for my life, seems to always begin with me becoming frustrated and burned out. In my focus and new found excitement I run full steam ahead, assuming patience and calmness will come flooding out of me because I have willed it to. Most of the time before even 8 am, I start taking deep breaths and wishing for the day to be over (another attempt perhaps tomorrow). The main point of this – that I am attempting to live by God’s standards without God, I try to do it in my own way and wonder why I feel so powerless and defeated.
The Bible study group I attend weekly is starting a new study this month on the Gospel of Mark. Our homework this week prior to attending was to read the book of Mark. Over the past two days of quiet study I have begun with praying for God to speak to me as I read His word. It has been great to get back into this healthy routine post the craziness of the holiday season.