Everyone in my house seems to take notice when I fail to succeed in my duties as mom. Not often do I get a “thank you for drying my mittens last night,” or “thanks mom, for cleaning the toilet.” Forget to make dinner and everyone is out to get me. As moms we spend our days doing what feels like a thankless job with everyone else in the house working against us. Sunday morning I endured a crying melt down from Joshua, lasting for over 45 minutes prior to arriving at church. All that fuss over the fact that he had to wear “girl” underwear! Really dude? It was clean! Rest assured it is not that we lack “boy” appropriate underwear, it was simply the outcome of a very busy week – my priority was clean clothes. Period. Not equal amounts of gender specific underwear.
My experience so far with attempting to live out God’s will for my life, seems to always begin with me becoming frustrated and burned out. In my focus and new found excitement I run full steam ahead, assuming patience and calmness will come flooding out of me because I have willed it to. Most of the time before even 8 am, I start taking deep breaths and wishing for the day to be over (another attempt perhaps tomorrow). The main point of this – that I am attempting to live by God’s standards without God, I try to do it in my own way and wonder why I feel so powerless and defeated.
This past Summer I took numerous trips and full days to help my grandparents (and family) downsize their three-storey home. I learned many a lesson while going through this process. I was in the end renewed with energy to downsize our small home again and let go of anything I was holding onto. Some things became clear life lessons for downsizing and living with intention.