I am drowning in chores I need to catch up on. Lately I find that I am either rocking the mom thing, or I am hiding under a huge pile of laundry, trying my best to avoid it.
Currently our bedroom looks like the dryer exploded. It started with one basket of clean clothes and has been added to with each load. I am going nuts each morning sifting through the pile to find everyone clothes, we need the clean clothes it is as simple as that. But now that the chore is out of hand I have zero desire to actually do it. I can see it, I am frustrated over it, and yet I keep choosing to ignore it.
I can justify my reasons and hope that eventually someone else will get sick of it and actually help out – but really, only I am going to be doing this. It happens quickly with eight people’s laundry, miss one load and the pile snowballs into a completely overwhelming chore. So this afternoon I have decided that instead of quiet study, I am going to spend it folding laundry and praying. Hoping to gain deep wisdom while getting this neglected chore done before the weekend.
I love when my house runs smoothly, when all things seem to be kept up and well oiled. Laundry is done daily, dishes clean after each meal, the floors are picked up making it easy to vacuum. We find clothes quickly in the morning, and making a snack or meal on the cleared counters is simple (actually fun). Finally settling in for the night, in a fairly clean house, is the ultimate relaxation for me.
I get tired though, tired of repeating the same things over and over. Exhausted by how quickly four kids can destroy an area while I simply have a quick shower. It wears me down and I begin to neglect one or perhaps two chores, which in a small house with eight people means instant disaster. This week has been a week of mindlessly checking out – scrolling my phone and sitting idle watching Netflix with the kids – my heart hasn’t been in much.
I have had too much time on my hands and lost myself in a sea of self pity. I began to grow angry, jealousy crept in, and various life frustrations arose. Our financial situation wasn’t what I thought we deserved, depressed about the gloomy weather, self doubt over my ability to write and wondering why should I bother sharing my thoughts, who really cares?
While I folded I prayed, and began to remember that this is the job I have been called to do. It may not seem like much to me right now, and even though doing the same chore over and over again is frustrating, I have been called to this. Somewhere along the way, I had unconsciously decided that it was on me to do everything in our home on my own, but this massive pile of laundry in our bedroom is a strong indicator that something is not running smoothly. I have left zero room for God to do His work in my life. I am running around 24/7 until I burn out each and every week, without making a conscious effort to give it up in service. I am taking time each day to study and be in the Word, but I am not then applying the truth to my everyday life.
How can He show me miraculous things, and carry the heavy burdens if I continue to pack them up on my back and start the same independent routine day in and day out? Why would He fulfill the plan He has for me when I am busy trying to do it all on my own? Somehow I thought laundry, dishes, meal planning, and other household duties were beneath God. He asked me to do it, so I should without bothering Him, I will hold out and only ask Him for help when the really big plan comes my way. But the reality is I am struggling to keep up on my own in the everyday “mom plan” He has for me. We are supposed to do everything in prayer, and bring all our burdens and heavy loads to Him. Today laundry was my heavy burden.
Caring for six little kids and supporting my husband as he works outside of the home is often more than I alone can handle. But I have come to learn that is when God does His best work. When we are in a position of being unable, it gives God a chance to BE ABLE. We do not have to struggle through life overwhelmed and stretched thin. He is right there ready for us to hand the load off and say “Okay God do your thing!”
He did not fold each piece of laundry for me, but He met me there in the pile. He renewed my energy and gave me hope of a future with Him at the wheel. I did the work and He blessed the effort. I had quiet time to praise Him for our many blessings, and time to lay out my heartache and frustrations I have been struggling with. Every time I do our laundry is probably not going to be a monumental “God moment,” but when we lay our overwhelming burdens at His feet the possibility for Him to do a work in us is there.
I am about to start Saturday with my family, as I have over stayed my morning in bed and now need to get a move on – Happy Weekend friends!